In the trenches

April 18, 2013 womanafterhisheart

LORD,

This has been a week. DId you ever get tired of people needing You? Sometimes I do, LORD. Sometimes the constant needs can start to overwhelm me. I thank You that are teaching me to look to YOu and speak the life-giving Word, but sometimes it still gets tiring as I live in the trenches of parenthood.

Like when Jer wants to cling to me- while I’m eating, while I’m driving, while I’m cleaning, while I’m sleeping and his head is rammed into my back. Like the endless paper trail that has to be dealt with-permission slips, school pictures, homework, diabetic sheets, absentee sheets… Yeah, you know God. You see it all, so you know. LIke when Jer just has to mess with buttons and now I can’t figure out how to fix the tv back, and the kids are clamoring at me to fix it… but I don’t know how, and my attempts just aren’t working. Like the tattling, LORD, that seems to never stop. Hannah tatttling on Jer- Jer tattling on Hannah. The fighting and bickering. The “Mom, he/she did, said…!” LORD, did you ever just want to run away and hide when people tugged at you all day? I do, I won’t lie. When I start my day with people needing me (Mom, I need breakfast, Mom I need toilet paper, Mom I need my shoes untied- oh by the way, my friend tied them in a HUGE knot…, go into school to hear many many needs (I need a pencil, Mrs Collick, my dog died I need a hug, I need paper, I need a new bel l ringer…” and then come home to hear the constant cries of “Mom, I need….!” “Mom, can you…?” sometimes I just want to hide. Then, LORD, when all the cries are silent, I face the mess and get ready for it all again the next day. Yes, You and I have wonderful times together in the quiet, and truly those and the prayers of my loved ones are the only things that allow me to face the new day and do it all over again. I want to have endless compassion and do everything in love, and you are teaching me that. I snap less and less (went all day yesterday without snapping – yay God!), and last night, it touched my heart so much when Jeremiah said as I tucked him into bed, “Mom, you’re so kind. I’m so glad to have such a kind Mama like you.” Thank you, LORD, because I know You are changing me, but I know I still fall short. So please keep changing my heart-  making it more like Yours. And help me to remember that I can do all things through You who gives me strength-  Keep filling me with Your love so I can pour it out on those around me. And LORD, thank You for never giving up on me. 

Love,

Shawna

 

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