a call

April 13, 2013 womanafterhisheart

I got a call today. It wasn’t a call I was expecting. I thought it was the nurse from Hannah’s school. I didn’t look at the number close enough. It wasn’t the nurse. It wasn’t a call I wanted. It wasn’t a call from a friend. It wasn’t a call from a family member. It was a call from a stranger. And she had a purpose. One I want to avoid like lice- and if you don’t know me, I absolutely detest those things, so this purpose was not good- not at all.

With one call, my life was once again turned topsy turvy. I’m so glad God is guiding this ride, because I get motion sick- bad- and all this flip flopping around in my life is enough to make me toss my metaphorical cookies about now! 

But the call had a purpose from God too. And that was to make me face some facts. Some that I have really been trying to avoid. 

You know, I believe that Hannah will be healed of diabetes someday- with all of my heart- but I don’t stop giving her insulin in the meantime. I don’t stop checking her sugar or keeping up with her carbs.  So I believe, but I trust God to use all of these other things to help her thrive in life until the healing is complete- however and whenever He chooses to do it.

So, what does that have to do with the call? Well, it made me realize that the children God has blessed me with need more than Chris and I can give them alone. They need prayer and compassion, structure and stability. But they need more. I see clearer than ever before that they are broken, and they need TLC in the form of some choices I haven’t been thrilled about pursuing. So I am praying for wisdom and seeking God’s heart on this matter.  And I hear Him whispering to be at peace and to trust that He will protect them and heal them through whatever comes, in HIs way, and in HIs time. 

The toughest part of all this is that the Enemy looks at me and tells me that I have failed as a mom and a Christian. That I just didn’t pray enough. Didn’t believe enough. Didn’t trust enough. But those are all lies. A parent does what is best for their child, and this is what is best for the children God has blessed me with. 

So I’m going to trust that He will provide all we need; people we need, programs we need, finances we need. Whatever He feels we need to grow and heal as a family. And especially whatever the children need to be all that He has for them to be. And most of all I am believing that one day our family will be whole again, and it will be a beautiful testimony of what God is able to do with brokenness: Turn it into a beautiful mosaic of His grace and healing.

Be blessed friend, and please keep us all in your prayers as we continue on this road of healing.

-Shawna

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One Comment Add your own

  • 1. Susie  |  April 13, 2013 at 11:14 am

    Be strong in The Lord. That is what came to my mind as I read this. The Enemy tells me the same thing all the time when I don’t agree with or approve of my 21 year old children’s choices. I have to remember that I did the best that I could and the past is the past. I just can’t re-live it or change it. Praying for you sister!


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