Humbled by parenting

April 2, 2013 womanafterhisheart

Tonight I watched my 9 year old daughter grow up in front of my eyes. I saw a little girl begin to turn into a young woman and my heart was both bursting with joy and aching for her to always stay my little girl. As I walked away from her bedroom after tucking her in, I felt such a feeling of inadequacy come over me. “Oh Father, ” I prayed silently with a full heart, ” I want to help the children you have blessed us with, and I feel so unable to do it. I have messed up in so many ways, but please help me. Teach me how to be the mom they need- the one who will help point them to You.” See as I am following the Shepherd, I realized like never before, that they are following ME.  These are HIS kids- I’m only borrowing them, and they are ultimately following Him… by following in mine and Chris’ footsteps. My throat closed up thinking of how precious these children are and how inadequate I am to help guide them closer to the Shepherd. One thing I know for sure, it makes me want to stay right behind the Shepherd, so close to Him that I can hear everything He says to me. I have two little lambs following me and I DO NOT want to cause them to stumble. Oh LORD, keep changing and cleansing my heart, cleanse my mouth, cleanse my hands- just douse me LORD- daily. Then speak to me and fill me with Your holy words that I may share them with Hannah and Jeremiah. Shine Your love into my heart, so I can let it flood over my children bringing light and peace. I’m walking right behind you, Gentle Shepherd. I see now, like never before, that doing so is the only way to point these precious children to You.

-Shawna

 

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