Stuck on a ladder: II Peter 1: 5-10

March 29, 2013 womanafterhisheart

So, I have a secret some of you may not know: I have always been afraid of heights.  And ladders have always especially frightened me. You know those giant ladders firefighters use? YEah, those that look as if they stretch and stretch to the heavens? My legs start shaking if I even attempt a regular ladder, let alone one of those! But in reading the scriptures tonight, God made a connection in my heart that I want to share.

Peter says in chapter 1 verse 5: For this very reason…employ every effort in exercising  your faith to develop virtue, and to virtue knowledge, and to knowledge self-control, and to self-control, steadfastness, and to steadfastness, godliness, and to godliness, brotherly affection, and to brotherly affection, Christian love.” 

This is kind of like a ladder, don’t you think? A ladder that leads to a close relationship with God- way up there  (remember His ays are hjgher than ours)? So what does a woman who is afraid of heights do with this ? She stays on the first rung of course! 

See I have been wondering why it is that I haven’t been growing as a Christian. I’ve been wondering why I have stayed so broken for so long. But now I know. The minute I dared to even lift my leg the slightest bit to get to the next rung, the enemy would distract  me and flat out tell me I just wasn’t virtuous enough, so how dare I try to move. He would remind me of the danger of falling from higher rungs if I  tried to get prideful and move up. And I believed him. So I would spend so much time trying to be virtuous that I would make lists adn lists of how I needed to change to be more virtuous. In the mean time, I had no time to spend studying the deeper scriptures because I had my lists to work on. So I could not move to knowledge. The rungs of self-control and steadfastness were so high to me that the enemy would taunt me- you’ll never get there- this is just who you are! Look how high those are! Suppose you try to go up and you fall- you will never make it! ANd again, I believed him.

So I continued to lose my temper with my family and act like a little girl when things didn’t go her way! I flitted from one thing to another- trying to reach at least a hand up to the rung of steadfastness. ANd I continued to try to be “virtuous”. And the enemy would keep me bound up with secret sins and whisper to me that I would never be virtuous enough- I should just forget it and get down off the ladder for good! Brotherly affection was about me. How I could feel good. SO I stayed on rung one- defeated. Way up high was Christian Love (I Corinithians 13 kind of love) and I could barely see it! And I SURE did not live it! 

I could not make myself go up the ladder no matter how much I wanted to;I was just too scared! Scared I would fall! So, when my life came crashing down around me six months ago, God began teh trek down the ladder to me! He took my hand and together we started climbing. And I know that He is going to stay with me keeping me safe, every step of the way!


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